A mother-of-two sparked a heated debate when she sought advice online after stumbling across pictures her husband of ten years had secretly taken of her sleeping naked.
Speaking to Mumsnet, the mother revealed she had found photographs taken of her dating back to 2015, secretly snapped by her husband who then emailed them to himself.
While many on the parenting forum deemed the woman’s husband’s actions ‘creepy’ – with some going so far as to suggest she get the police involved – others insisted he did it because he finds his wife attractive, and argued that they would be ‘flattered’ in her shoes.
The distressed mother, who said she had previously been ‘very happy’ in her decade-long marriage, admitted she’d cried herself to sleep since finding the pictures taken without consent, and felt ‘the trust is gone’.
But concerned she could be over-reacting she asked fellow mothers: ‘What would you do?’
Writing under the handle ‘scoobysu’, she described how happy their family had been until she discovered the images.
She wrote: ‘…we are very happy. That was until Monday when I found naked pictures of myself that he had taken when I was asleep or not looking (without consent) and emailed them to himself from his phone’.
‘I confronted him and he has been very upset and apologized repeatedly and is begging for another chance. He said it was a huge mistake but I have found a photo dating back to 2015 so I think this has been going on for a while’.
Some users sympathized with the mother and reassured her that her reaction was normal.
One person wrote: ‘So sorry this has happened. I couldn’t accept this kind of behavior and no way would I think that I was breaking up the family by leaving. I’d think I was keeping my self-respect intact and showing the scumbag he is not worthy. He is to blame, not you’.
Others claimed they wouldn’t be as upset as the mother claimed to be and instead would see her husbands actions as flattery.
One person said: ‘Try not to read too much into this. My husband and I regularly do this without the other’s consent or knowledge. I have never put it down to anything more than how attractive we find each other’.
Another wrote: ‘I think it my husband of ten years wanted naked photos of me, I’d be flattered (providing he wasn’t sharing them) but, again he’d need my consent first’.
The mother stated she was devastated and concerned his job in IT would help him to cover his tracks.
Users tried to provide the mother with practical action to take to try to move forward and urged her to sit down and talk to him.
One person wrote: ‘Call his bluff and tell him you have found some online and see how he reacts’.
Another said: ‘To start with I would insist he slept elsewhere- a spare room, sofa, friends house etc. He does not get to do that to you in your own bed and still be welcome in there’.
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