A relationship expert who describes herself as the ‘Get the Ring Coach’ has revealed why women looking for marriage should refuse to date men on an exclusive basis – until they propose.
Love and Relationship Coach Sami Wunder, who is based between the UK and Germany, used the same trick herself when she first met Chris, now her husband, by refusing to stop dating other people until he popped the question.
Nine months later he did and now they have been happily married for five years and have a son, while Sami has been responsible for 95 proposals in two years of business – with one taking just three months.
‘This approach works wonderfully well for that smart, successful, amazing woman who has aced all aspects of her life and career and love is the only thing that hasn’t worked out for her,’ she told Femail.
She is so ready to settle down and have a family right now and doesn’t want to waste time being someone’s girlfriend for years, especially when he has no clear intention of offering her marriage or the commitment she wants.
‘The way the system is built, masculine men who aim to settle down themselves and want to commit and have a family, will love a decisive woman who knows what she wants and will give her the commitment she deserves if they are serious about her and in love.
‘If not, they will say no and that helps both parties to move on quickly, without giving false hopes or promises.
‘The thing to understand about this system is that it isn’t a pressure based manipulation tactic or an ultimatum you’re giving to a man.
‘He still has the choice to not commit to you, to say no, to go see others himself or simply stop seeing you.
‘That is his right. The system only ensures that you don’t offer full husband benefits to such a man, that only wants to offer you girlfriend status.
‘Hence, for self-aware, healthy men and woman, who know they are looking for a lifetime commitment, the system works beautifully well.’
Before Sami met Chris her love life, she admits, was a ‘disaster’.
If she did get past the first date, the burgeoning relationship usually fizzled out after two or three months.
‘My point of transformation came when a New York-based attorney, broke my heart and told me he “wasn’t feeling it for me” after two months of electric, intense dating. I truly thought he was the one,’ Sami recalled.
‘The intense pain of that rejection made me reflect on my life choices again and note that I had to wake up and do something about it if I wanted to have my dream of an amazing marriage and family fulfilled.
‘I understood that I needed help if I was serious about making that goal come true for me.’
Sami spent time consulting with relationship stalwarts, read books about the dynamics of attraction and what makes men stay for the long-term as well as observing the behavior of women who were successful in love.
‘It wasn’t a studied thing they were strategically applying,’ she explained. ‘It was just that they valued themselves enough to not give themselves fully to a man, who hadn’t given himself fully to them.
It was the most natural thing for them to do. They did not want to give “husband benefits” to a man who hadn’t given “wife benefits” to them.
‘And somehow, to my surprise, healthy masculine men, understood this as well.
‘I found this inspiring and realized that at heart, I too was the woman who believed in the institution of marriage and I wasn’t going to settle for anything less.
‘Plus, by the way, I teach this system now to my clients when a man knows he wants you forever, and you want him too, whats the problem?’
She then met Chris and after two-and-a-half months of dating, he asked her to be his girlfriend.
‘My response to this was: “I really like you too but I am not looking to be ANY man’s girlfriend. I am looking for my forever man, a man who knows he wants me and only me, for the rest of his life.
‘Until he knows that I am that woman for him, I would like to keep my options open and see other men for non-sexual connection dates.”
‘His first reaction was stunned silence. He didn’t know what had hit him. I still remember we walked back home in complete silence that day.
Two days later, when we met again, he asked me many questions about how I saw the future and if the girlfriend wasn’t the normal next step, before committing to someone for life.
‘I told him at that point of time that I didn’t want to be test driven by many men, while they “made up their mind” about me.
‘I wanted a man who knew that he wanted me and if I could be so clear-headed about wanting a man, he could return the favor too.
‘Within the one month mark, I knew I had engaged and caught his attention like no other woman had and from there on, it only continued to grow.
‘The rest as they are history. Chris´s presence never dwindled in my life and with every passing day, I could feel how he totally knew that I was the one he wanted.’
After meeting Chris, Sami trained to her certification as a relationship coach so that she could share her methods with others.
‘Today, I am proud to say that over 95 of my clients have attracted their soulmates and got proposals in the last 2 years alone, using the system of Wunder soulmate attraction I teach,’ she said.
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